Don’t Let Your Past Define You

anxiety compassion relationship Dec 28, 2023

When you think about that, it's an interesting concept. If you're letting your past define you, you're not really utilizing the present moment or the present impact of you. How you were in the past, what you went through, is your history, and not necessarily your future.

Defining means how you are known.  That is part of who you are, but it doesn't leave room and space for where you are now moving toward.


So what if we change this? What if we say instead, 

to let your past guide you.  


You have gone through everything that you have experienced, for whatever reason.  You have had to learn from this. to adapt, grow, and change.  It is all a part of who you are, but it's only the part of you up to this moment.  And it’s significance is as big as the power that you give it. Think about that.  What is the power you give it?


Only you know, the reasons you made the choices that you made. And I'm sure, like most of us, you made the very best choices you knew how to make in that moment. Looking back with hindsight, with kindsight, you might have done some things differently. But if you did, you wouldn't be where you are now, which is precisely where you are to be in this moment. 


Everything you have lived is part of your heritage and your legacy. It's led you to be who you are now and who you choose to become next.  It’s important that you don't let the  labels of  “I was abused” or “I was hurt” or “I was abandoned” ” to hold you back or to become the brand mark of who you are. You've probably gone through some horrible situations. And I am sorry for any hurt or injury.  You are more than what you’ve gone through.   It doesn't have to define who you are in your future. It's the experiences that you've encountered. It's a part of your life's journey. That doesn't take away any of its power.  If anything, it deepens it, because you can move beyond this, in spite of it.  It’s important to embrace all that you have experienced and know it has helped you become who you are right now and,

who you are becoming,



The choice is yours.

You are very much in the making.


So, what is the next part?

How are you using this time? How are you taking all that you've learned and all that you've gone through to let now be important? Your choices are changing what happens in the present. It depends upon what you believe for yourself, what you allow for yourself, what you focus on for yourself, and if you're caught holding on to what you have gone through.


You might decide right now,  “I am no longer going to smoke.”  And in doing so, you are no longer a smoker.  You have smoked.  But you are no longer a smoker.  So your past doesn't define you now.You have changed.  We can give ourselves the opportunity to change by taking action steps that cultivate a new way of being.  Decide who you are right now by letting your past guide you into better decisions and choices.  Let yourself take that next step. 


There's a beautiful saying that if you are depressed, you're living in the past if you're anxious, you're living the future. If you're at peace and calm, you're living in  the present. And right now in this moment, regardless of what you have been through, all your power is now. Everything that you need is here right now in this moment with you.  Until you decide there is more for you to have or more for you to learn or something different for you to experience. All the opportunities and relationships and experiences you have had have brought you to this moment and this accumulation is the doorway to choose to become.  And that is up to you. You can change by deciding you will change and then coming up with an action plan to do it differently. If you find yourself falling back into old habits, catching yourself, hopefully gently, reminding yourself that you're starting to pick up behaviors that are going to draw you back into a way that no longer serves you. The key is to look at everything you've gone through and to decide how does this serve you now, how does this empower you now, how can you take all of your experience and all of your knowledge, all of your relationships and let that be a gift of awareness or decision to this moment? 


You're so much more than you once were. There's so much more ahead that you have yet to create with the magic of you.  It is in you.  You're turning your life into passion. Utilize all of you, grow beyond you who you're wanting to become.   Nurture yourself in this. Be grateful to who you are now.


I've never had a cancer patient say that they were grateful that they got cancer or they were happy they got cancer or that they enjoy the journey, not one. But they would not give up what the cancer taught them or who they had become. And that's really the key, to look at all that you're going through and to decide to see who you’ve become.   


I got myself out of that relationship. 

I stopped that pattern or that behavior.

I gave myself a different career opportunity. 


What do you give to yourself right now?  Do you give yourself the space to explore, to give yourself community support, knowledge trial and error, the opportunity to fail and learn and grow and become so much more. Fail is such a funny word because it's really not, it's just a lesson. It's just a lesson of something you need to know.  Change and growth can be glorious. We actually change all the time. So what is beyond you here and beyond this and beyond?  Who are you now?