How Big Is Your But?

choices mindfulness wisdom Feb 22, 2023

How Big Is Your But?


Excuse me?

Believe me, I am no trying to be rude, but how big is your BUT? It’s a really important question.

Okay, let me ask this in a more poignant way. Does your 'BUT' get in your way?

Hello? But Butt jokes aside, are you aware of how often you say BUT in any day? Most of us say it frequently. Have you ever thought of why? Or the impact it has on others? Or the impact it had on you and your motivation, your beliefs, your actions and, most importantly, whether you choose to step into or step away from some possibility?

The problem with BUT is that it creates a jab, a jerk, a crashing stop, an absolute end point. It closes doors and shuts down opportunities. And it often offends the other person. That’s a big but problem!

So why DO you say BUT so often? It can be a habit to give ourselves more say so or wiggle room. It can also be because of fear and resistance to change. It can be our way of making an excuse versus being honest about our feelings.


“I’d really love to BUT…”. If we are saying it as as excuse we are actually trying to give ourselves some power AND we are doing it in a limiting way.

It’s the victimization of buts.

Now sometimes, it might be the best choice. It’s important to explore if it is before it pops out if your mouth.

If you are mindful you can often replace BUT with AND. I have done so twice so far. Did you catch them?

Here are some others ways to to make your BUT smaller.

1. See it AND fits instead.

I’d love to go AND I am sorry to say, that I have to decline because I have too much work today.

2. Before you say BUT next time, challenge yourself to see if there is a benefit in saying YES. Or what do you need to ask for TO say yes.

“I’d love to go to the show. I know you are asking for payment immediately. If you can wait til Friday, I will have the funds on that day. I don’t have access to them now. Would this work for you?”

3. Be honest “It’s really not something I want to do. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for asking,”


Help yourself see where you can change your but problem into your but exploration. Did I say that?


Let’s explore our buts.

Ha! My friend Jo Cresswell tantalized me with this topic!

And I bet it’s one you’ll remember!