By Heather Browne

 “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second [greatest commandment] is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

Recognize the love you’re not giving.

Ouch. And there’s truth here isn’t there?

Where do you walk away?

Stop listening?

Care less?

We all do it at times when we are frustrated, tired, stressed or in crisis.

It’s far easier to pinpoint what we’re not getting than it is to be honest with ourselves about what we’re not giving.

Checking In

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

 ^“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3:13)

Do you want people to check in with you more frequently? How often do you check in with them? Are you wanting more conversations about what’s going on in your life? How do you start these?

The year after my husband, Ted, died, I was a terrible friend. I was consumed with everything on my plate, and I started to notice that I dumped when I got together with friends. I started to notice that I wasn’t calling to ask how they were or bringing up things that were important to them. I sat my three best friends down each separately and apologized. They were gracious, but I know I hadn’t cared enough about them lately. I try to always remember this moving forward.

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“Ask for what you need. We can all learn to love each other better.”

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Giving and Receiving Love

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:11)

You hear it all the time. Give the type of love you’d like to receive back, and love others in the way they desire as well.

Give the type of love you want to receive. Give praise. Notice the little things. Offer help without it being asked of you.

I’m not suggesting you should always be the one giving. If it feels like a constant one-way street (like I was doing after Ted died), then it might be time to reevaluate that relationship and have a heart-to-heart talk. But in most relationships, giving more freely creates an environment of consideration and generosity.

And then of course there’s the other side of this coin: Ask for what you need. We can all learn to love each other better.

“For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galatians 5:14)

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