I Fell in Love With a Beauty Queen

2023 choices compassion Apr 20, 2023

I fell in love with a beauty queen.  Really, really I did!  In the midst of doing some shadow work, looking at where I don’t take care the very best for myself or finding ways to blame and justify the reality of my life.  She was a spectacular, radiant, kind, and the most uplifting person in our book group.  She too was writing a book.  I didn’t know what it was about or even that she had earned the crown…Miss Universe.  The most beautiful woman in the world.  I just knew that each time she posted or spoke, she said the kindest things. She lifted everybody up.  It was often 2 or 3 in the morning for her, and still she had a cheery and beautifully fresh washed face.   


I pulled up her Instagram and found out the truth.  My shadow side told me she was just lucky, blessed with a wealthy family able to give her this extraordinary life and they also gave her amazing genes.  But as I scrolled through, the photos proclaimed her truth, exercise, discipline, diet, and insane commitment.  I felt a little self conscious.  Not so much at her beauty, but her commitment.  She was tougher than me.  And also, truly beautiful inside and out.  She worked hard.  I immediately admired her.  I reached out to her because I was fascinated to learn how a young girl commits to so much discipline and the truth of living a pageant life.  I had been homeless for a month in my 20’s.  At the same age she walked stages with bright lights.  How different we were.  How different our lives had been and even now.  I wanted to hear her story. But what baffled me is, she also wanted to hear mine.   She wanted to bring change to the world.  She saw the influence that she could have by helping young girls and women in learning how to love, accept, and explore their truths, to find the best that they could be and see their true beauty.  We lit each other up as we laughed and shared.  She was determined to leave a glorious impact on the world and she was willing to do the work.  Wow.  Applause.


I kept looking back at her gorgeous photos and her smile, and the more I did, the more I saw the sweet, kind youthful girl whose adult face and body just happened to be exquisite, but what they really housed was her compassionate heart.  She reminded me of me, an eager excited hopeful girl wanting to change the world.  I wrestled a little with the contrast in our beauties, mine rarely attended to and definitely not valued as she did hers. 


There’s much to learn from a beauty queen.  But what struck me most is that she teaches me, internal beauty and how  important it is to help our kids grow up intentionally and aware.  I know there’s a ton I can learn about serums and creams, how to properly apply shadow, but in  getting to know her, the most beautiful thing she brings,  is light.  She asked me if I would like to  do an Instagram live with her.  And at this moment, we shared our lives, our hearts, and the stage.  




I love it when I am stretched.  I  had a few preconceived ideas about being a beauty queen.  All of them, less than what she is.  And all of them, lessening the true beauty of me.  I am the one who can bring the in darkness, I can bring judgment. But the more I focus on beauty and on love, the less I am even aware of any part of me.   That is the most wonderful truth, the crown shines with the light of others.


Where do you block yourself off from being, feeling, seeing your sparkle and everyone else’s light? 


I send you so much love!


Dr Heather