Recognize the love you’re not giving.
Ouch. And there’s truth here isn’t there?
Where do you walk away?
Stop listening?
Care Less?
We all do it at times when we are frustrated or tired or stressed or in crisis.
It’s far easier to pinpoint what we’re not getting than it is to be honest with ourselves about what we’re not giving.
Do you want people to check in with you more frequently? How often do you check in with them? Are you wanting more conversations about what’s going on in your life? How do you start these?
The year after Ted died, I was a terrible friend. I was consumed with everything on my plate and I started to notice that I dumped when I got together with friends. I started to notice that I wasn’t calling to ask how they were or bringing up things that were important to them. I sat my three best friends down each separately and apologized. There were gracious, but I know I hadn’t cared enough about them lately. I try to always remember this moving forward.
You hear it all the time. Give the type of love you’d like to receive back AND love others in the way they desire as well.
Give the type of love you want to receive. Give praise. Notice the little things. Offer help without it being asked of you.
I’m not suggesting you should always be the one giving. If it feels like a constant one-way street, (like I was doing after Ted died), then it might be time to reevaluate that relationship and have a heart to heart talk . But in most relationships, giving more freely creates an environment of consideration and generosity.
And then of course there’s the other side of this coin: Ask for what you need! We can all learn to love each other better!
