Do You Forgive?

2023 choices communication compassion connection Sep 07, 2023

Forgiveness.  Ugh.  We are told we are to forgive.  We are told we aren’t being kind if we don’t forgive.  But you have been hurt.  And sometimes forgiveness doesn’t come.  Sometimes you just walk away with that hurt.

What do you do when you’ve been dumped, broken up with, or left?  There’s a whole bunch of hurt when this happens.


I am offering a workshop next Thursday 


Helping Yourself After a Breakup 

Let me love on you as you step into healing.


Here’s the link:

And let’s explore forgiveness.

Someone shared with me that the ability to forgive another person is not a favor to them, but rather an act of self love. It doesn’t mean that any part of what was done is acceptable.  It doesn’t mean you will have them in your life.  But it means that you are taking you healing into your own hands by loving on yourself and forgiving yourself for having gone through this experience.  You aren’t dependent on the other apologizing or making it right.  You are 100% taking care of you.

So how do we unravel this awkward knot? 


We UNHOOK the old stories we carry around in our minds. 


U—understand that the other person is imperfect and flawed because all human beings are flawed. Understand that both of you were trying to be true to yourselves.  It just didn’t work well together.


N—nurture yourself and acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected. Practice self kindness and self compassion.  Accept how you felt about the event and how it made you react. Comfort you.


H—hold the past lightly where you can.  Help yourself feel why this shift or break needed to happen for you to step into who you are now becoming.  It wouldn’t have happened without this experience.

O—Observe and tune into your body. What happens in your body when you you revisit these wounds? You will.  Sometimes for a long time.  Can you feel where you are holding the hurt in your body? Is your neck tense, stomach clenched, pain in your shoulder or back? Visualize yourself sending love and comfort there.  A massage or a jacuzzi could really help here.


O—Open yourself up to this moment learning to love on you.   What did this relationship or situation help you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries?  Where were you letting go of yourself?  Where were you too dependent upon the other?


K—Keep helping yourself grow beyond this by integrating your new awarenesses, your clearer needs, your newly established boundaries, and a ton of  love.

You don’t have to forgive another unless you choose to.  It’s up to what and when best suits you.  You’ll know.  Check to see if you are holding resentment in your heart.  You do want to be certain that you free yourself as much as possible so you don't stay stuck.

I’d love to see you in the workshop!