2023 choices connection Jul 06, 2023

Do you have a hard time with labels? 

I have never liked labeling. It can seem confining, controlling, and limiting.  I know much of our world needs to label things, people, and characteristics to be able to categorize and delineate.  And it is necessary in the diagnostics of the psych world. 

I've recently been labeled.  And not in a positive way.  As you guys know, I am in the process of looking for a publisher for my book.   One of my top choices was interested in my book and they were pursuing me until they looked at my social media following and decided that I am, in the publishing world, 




Ugh!  It’s rather funny at 6’ tall to be labeled too small.  I am indeed a giant in stature in this world!  Ha! So, if you aren't following me on the social media platforms, or if you know of folks who would enjoy my newsletters, please share!!!  Apparently I need to get bigger.


But this got me thinking about relationships and communication.  Labeling can be a challenge in these areas.  No one wants to be labeled passive aggressive or with anxious attachment, or having anger management challenges.  These labels are problematic.   No one is passive aggressive to everyone or passive aggressive at all times. No one is anxious constantly. Nobody is completely avoidant of others or angry at all times. 


I've had a little bit of frustration with a lot of the quizzes that are used to tell us “who we are”, “where we are”, “how we are”,  and “where we fit in”.   So, I created one of my own frameworks, which seems much kinder and more helpful, (in my opinion.)


I broke communication styles down into 4 different aspects.







We all are a combination of the four, though we tend to be more comfortable with one.  Each one is beneficial in some areas and can also be problematic if taken to an extreme or disregarding what is needed in a particular situation.  My view is different than all the other communication quizzes that I've seen. And it’s an important one to reflect on.


What if you learned which role is best suited to particular situations or people?  What if you learned how to bring the best out of you?  What if instead of being labeled, you learned what to bring to benefit a conversation?  Then you aren’t labeled but uplifted!  You are expanded.  You can be within a box if it fits but also outside if you are to be a little bigger.


I'm offering a workshop next week on Thursday evening exploring these four different roles of communication. It's going to be an important and insightful exploration. I'd love to have you join me. It will be an interesting way of making you bigger!


And here’s the WORKSHOP LINK:



I'd like to know which role you think you present  most often?  Are you someone who's a thinker, a writer, a speaker, or a feeler?  What are the strengths for you in this?  And where do you find this role isn’t helpful?





A friend?


What other role/style could you choose to embody instead?  How would this help in your relationship and for you?


Ok…here are my links!  Feel free to sign up for any you aren’t currently on.  Feel free to share!  Thank you for helping me grow gigantic!  That’s the talker in me!!





Linked In:







And please share this newsletter with any friends or family who you think might be interested.  They can sign up on my website or pop me an email.  I’d love to support them and get to walk with them too!


I have some exciting news I will be sharing over the next newsletters!  Can’t wait to fill you in!




Dr Heather